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A major research institution
has recently announced the discovery of the most dense element known
to science. The new element has been named “Penwithium."
Penwithium has one unstable central neutron, around which
spinning aimlessly are 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312
particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since, Penwithium has no electrons, it is totally inert. However,
it can be detected, because, it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A small amount of Penwithium causes one
reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take
less than a second.
Penwithium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places with less than
zero net effect. Indeed, Penwithium's
mass
actually increases over time since each reorganization
will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Penwithium may be spontaneously formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical
quantity is
referred to as "Critical Morass."
When catalyzed with money Penwithium becomes
Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as
the Penwithium since it has half as many peons but twice
as many morons.
Similar
elements: Kraptonite
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