On the Performer's table there is a stone altar. Three votive candles are burning. One in front of the altar, the others at each side.

There is also a slim taper beside one of the candles. A silver sacrificial receptacle is on the altar.

Indicating the votive candles one by one the Performer says quietly, "The flame of the Past. Flame of the Present...and finally Flame of the future. The fires of history illuminating what was, what is, what shall be. Time. That awesome enigma -- Time."

Picking up a fairly large sheet of red paper the Performer begins folding it.

"Time -- folding in upon itself...a complex concept. Past, Present and Future all an omnipresent Now. Perhaps Egypt of ancient yore ever present here and now," continues folding the paper, "and the paradoxical truth of its mythology."

The Performer displays the paper. He has made a rather large origami bird.

"The Phoenix Bird! In ancient myth it consumed itself in flames for five hundred blazing years in fires perhaps brighter than those of the Sun God Ra."

Placing the bird in the sacrificiaL receptacle the Performer picks up the taper and ignites it from the first votive candle, "Flame of the Past..." touches it to the second candle, "flame of the Present..." and to the third candle, "...the Future."

The Performer slowly extends the burning taper toward the origami bird, saying with hushed reverence, "Five hundred years afire. Five hundred years of flame." He sets the bird on fire, somberly watches it burning. "Only to..."

When the paper bird is at peak blaze the Performer rapidly puts a lid on the sacrificial receptacle while simultaneously saying to his assistant, "Quickly, the cage."

Enthralled, the Performer shouts joyously, "Only to rise from the ashes!" He jerks off the lid, "The cage -- quickly, lest it fly away!"

It's a rubber chicken with some badly burned feathers. The Performer grabs it by the neck, jubilantly holds it up to the heavens, he's thrilled to the extreme, "You will fly again, oh immortal Phoenix Bird. In the great outdoors you will fly up and up and up to outshine the Great Sun God Ra!"

Ever so reverently, the Performer puts the rubber chicken into the cage, whispering with awe, "From ashes to the sun..."

So I thought of this hours ago, but I'm still giggling. Cracks me up. It must be presented ever so seriously.

It's a fun routine for any performer -- and for the bizarrist who has done a few spooky routines but wants to conclude the performance with a laugh rather than a shiver this is a strong possibility.

Partially burn large feathers. Glue them to a rubber chicken. The ideal adhesive is flexible, incredibly strong called Marine Goop.

Cover a box with stone or marble adhesive back wall or shelving paper for the altar.

Most large markets have votive candles in red glass holders. As for the bird cage, larger the better.

Any large bookstore will have a book on Origami paper folding. Dover Publications has inexpensive ones available by mail order. Also try your local library. Use glossy red paper for the bird.

Just about everyone knows what to expect when a Dove Pan is used. Here, along with the birdcage, the expectation contributes to the surprise comedic effect of the absurd looking chicken with burned feathers -- along with the Performer being so serious throughout the presentation and, this is important, even after the chicken appears.

See the advantage of crawling around in a dusty, stale aired, spider infested junk closet. Oh? You actually clean yours? How peculiar.

Have fun.