BILL NEFF'S RICE BOWL ROUTINE
REQUIREMENTS:
- Chinese rice bowls, preferably with curl at bottom, as shown in illustration, for ease in handling.
- A rectangular tray of a size to fit nicely into your suitcase.
- Ink tablets.
- Strip of white tissue paper about 3 in. wide, 35 in. long, with bold Chinese characters painted in black.
- A can with an insert. The construction of the can, made of tin, is shown in the illustration, although any similar apparatus may be used. My can has an inner one to fit down inside the can that the audience face, coming to within about 1-1/2 in. of the bottom, leaving space there for concealment of the paper strip.
- A cover for the can, coming down over sides of can, takes out INNER can, which sticks inside cover due to flange on the inner can, extending slightly over the edge of the can proper. (See illustrations.)
- A bag of rice.
PATTER AND PRESENTATION (Patter is in capital letters)
I THINK YOU WILL BE INTERESTED IN SEEING A LITTLE EDUCATIONAL NUMBER... HOW LONG IS A CHINAMAN. "HOW" WAS HIS FIRST NAME AND "LONG" WAS HIS SECOND, SO YOU SEE, HOW LONG IS A CHINAMAN. HE WAS THE ONLY CHINAMAN WHO EVER RAN A LAUNDRY IN HIS OWN COUNTRY ON A PAYING BASIS. YOU ALL KNOW THE CHINESE COME TO THIS COUNTRY AND ALWAYS GET RICH RUNNING LAUNDRIES; BUT I'M SURE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ONE OPERATING A LAUNDRY IN HIS OWN COUNTRY... UNLESS YOU'VE HEARD OF MY FRIEND, HOW LONG, THE CHINESE MAGICIAN AND LAUNDRYMAN. HE EXPLAINED THE SECRET TO ME AND WE ARE THE ONLY TWO MEN IN THE WORLD WHO KNOW THIS SECRET. I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, MAKING IT PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME. HOW LONG HAD TWO CHINESE RICE BOWLS LIKE THIS.
Pick up uppermost one of inverted bowls and casually show, as you talk.
BUT YOU CAN SEE THAT THEY ARE NOTHING BUT THE ORDINARY SOUP-BOWL VARIETY.
Place bowl down on tray, right side up, and pick up bag of rice while you are saying:
NOW IT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT THAT EVERY GRAIN OF RICE FROM THE TIME IT IS PLANTED UNTIL MATURITY REQUIRES 9-1/3 GALLONS OF WATER; CONSEQUENTLY, IN CHINA THEY HAVE VERY LITTLE WATER, BUT LOTS OF RICE.
Slowly pour rice from bag into bowl, as you talk.
NOW HOW LONG, THE MAGICIAN, FILLED HIS BOWL WITH RICE UNTIL IT WAS ABOUT LEVEL FULL.
Level off surface.
THEN HE PLACED THE SECOND EMPTY BOWL ON TOP OF THE BOWL OF RICE AND RAISED THE BOWLS ON HIGH WHERE ALL COULD SEE THE MARVELOUS TRANSFORMATION TAKE PLACE, AND PRONOUNCED THOSE MYSTERIOUS WORDS "FOOEY FOOEY KING" AND WHEN THE UPPERMOST BOWL WAS REMOVED, THE RICE HAD MULTIPLIED UNTIL THERE WAS JUST DOUBLE THE QUANTITY.
When bowls are lifted above head and reversed, say the words, lower bowls, BUT DO NOT set bowls down on tray. Hold about 10 inches above tray with one hand on bottom and remove top bowl with other hand, allowing rice to stream out in a shower down onto tray. Then lower both bowls to table and say:
NOW THAT'S A VERY HANDY THING TO HAVE AROUND THE HOUSE. YOU START OUT WITH ONE BOWL OF RICE AND IT MULTIPLIES TO TWO, AND YOU STILL HAVE THE ORIGINAL BOWLFUL WITH WHICH YOU STARTED. HOW LONG WOULD THEN LEVEL OFF THE RICE SO THAT HE HAD THE ORIGINAL BOWL JUST LEVEL.
With empty bowl slide it over the water bowl, pushing off all rice.
AND ONCE AGAIN HE WOULD PLACE THE EMPTY BOWL OVER THE BOWL OF RICE, RAISE ON HIGH, BUT THIS TIME HE SAID: "FOOEY FOOEY KING, FOOEY EXLAX." IT'S THAT EXTRA EXLAX THAT DOES THE WORK.
Raise bowls as before, but without turning over, place down on tray. Lift off top bowl, taking disc with it, and place mouth down on tray, at the came time lifting water bowl with other hand.
AND THE BOWL OF RICE COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED LEAVING CLEAR, CLEAN, SPARKLING WATER.
Dip hand in, holding bowl down into water, lifting out what water you can, and allow to run back into bowl. Pick up other bowl with the same hand, leaving disc on tray, and pour water from bowl to bowl.
WITH WHICH TO DO HIS WASHING.
Dipped hand in water will naturally be dripping wet and probably have a few rice grains sticking to it and probably a few on the bowl. Shake hand and open and close fingers, shaking off rice and water on tray, and very openly pick up piece of ink tablet and drop into bowl of water which you have by this time rested on tray.
THE CHINESE, AS YOU KNOW, ARE NOT NOTED FOR BEING OVER CLEANLY, SO WE SEE THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY THE WATER HAD BECOME VERY DIRTY, AS HE JUST WENT ON AND ON WASHING CLOTHES OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN THE SAME WATER.
As you are saying this, pour inky water back and forth from bowl to bowl.
NOW THE CHINESE MAY NOT BE NOTED FOR BEING TOO CLEANLY BUT THEY ARE VERY THRIFTY AND FRUGAL AND WOULD NOT EVEN THROW AWAY A BOWL OF DIRTY WASH WATER. OLD HOW LONG HAD A LITTLE TIN CAN WHICH YOU WILL NOTE IS EMPTY--NO SUBMARINES OR ANYTHING FOLDED UP INSIDE.
Pick up can with inner container, showing it apparently empty.
AND A LID TO FIT THE CAN WHICH YOU WILL ALSO NOTE IS FILLED WITH NOTHING.
Show cover empty.
THE CAN WAS JUST LARGE ENOUGH TO HOLD THE BOWL OF DIRTY WATER.
Pick up can again in one hand and the bowl of water in the other, slowly pouring dirty water into can.
AND THE COVER WAS JUST LARGE ENOUGH TO NATURALLY FIT THE CAN.
Put cover on can tight, engaging inner container so it sticks into cover.
AND WITHOUT EVEN SO MUCH AS A MAGIC WORD...
...remove cover with water inside...
...THE WATER TURNED INTO REAL CHINESE RICE PAPER.
Start pulling strip of paper from can, increasing speed as you go.
ALTHOUGH PROBABLY NOT MANY OF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH ITS MANUFACTURE, THIS IS HOW IT WORKS: RICE TO WATER, WATER TO RICE PAPER, SO THAT WHEN THE CUSTOMERS COME BACK FOR THEIR LAUNDRY AT THE END OF THE DAY HE HAD THE WASH ALL DONE AND THE TICKETS PRINTED.
As you reach the end of the paper coming out of the can, with one grand sweep you should also reach the last word of patter, showing can empty, and bow as you reach the climax you have been building up. It's never failed to get me a big hand yet.
PREPARATION:--Place tray on table. Have bowls inverted, one nested on top of other, in left rear corner of tray. Piece of match stick or a couple of grains of rice under one edge of bottom bowl. Half an ink tablet beside bowls at rear. Can in the lid standing or lying at front right corner of tray. Rice in cloth bag at rear right corner of tray. Strip of laundry ticket is folded first one way and then another; i. e., "accordion plaited" before the show placed in bottom of can and inner container placed in on top. Can may casually be shown empty now at a few feet. A lot of fellows have trouble getting rid of the disc, but there is nothing to it if the preceding moves for this are followed; and it cannot be detected.
(Any tinner can make the tin-can insert and cover cheaply, and you can paint Chinese characters, if desired. DO NOT try to decorate bowls, as some fellows do, as the more innocent and unprepared they look, the better. At best, some people think some miracle mechanic has done something to the bowls and at club shows I always get rid of the disc as soon as the act is over and let the bowls and surplus rice on tray stand out where they can get hold of them. They have to be taken to some place and washed and thrown away; so this gives plenty of opportunity to let lots of people see them at close range.)
That was Bill Neff, of Indiana, Ladies and Gentlemen. I think he deserves much credit for working up this laugh trick, and we all should thank him for GIVING it to us here. Bill has a great little wife--if you don't know Virginia, you missed something--this is his second one--I think it's his second one--he uses the index system. Bill claimed years ago, when he first went around with a girl, that he was disappointed in love. But who the hell isn't?
Now we'll hear from an author whom you all have either seen or read about. He's published plenty of books on magic; and here's another lad who hasn't been in the game long, but he's reached the top so quick we feel he's always been there. Come on out, Howard--Ladies and Gentlemen,
HOWARD ALLBRIGHT
