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BILL NEFF'S EGG ROUTINE
PROPERTIES:
- Egg Bag, preferably with zipper to open bottom.
- Two Celluloid eggs.
- Real egg to match imitations.
- Double bandana hank, sewed together all around edges except half way on one side; that is, opening extends from one corner to center of one edge.
- Several newspapers.
- Eggs from Derby Hat Production.
PREPARATION: Place real egg in right trousers or coat pocket. Conceal one celluloid egg in secret pocket of egg bag so bag may be shown empty.
PERFORMANCE (Patter in Capitals)
IS THERE A BOY ABOUT SEVEN YEARS OLD THAT WOULD LIKE TO BE A MAGICIAN FOR A FEW MINUTES?
Don't get them too old, as they are not nearly so funny.
HOW DO YOU DO, SON. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JOHN JONES?
Shake hands.
YOU'RE NOT OLD MAN JONES' BOY, ARE YOU?
Say this surprised and as though meeting an old friend.
JOHN, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON THE STAGE BEFORE? WELL, YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER WANT TO BE AGAIN AFTER I'M THROUGH WITH YOU. NOW IS THERE A LITTLE GIRL HERE YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE COME UP AND SUFFER WITH YOU?
Help girl to stage, shake hands, and ask her name.
MARY, I'M BILL NEFF. MARY, THIS IS JOHN. THERE'S THE AUDIENCE. MAKE A BOW.
Put boy on left, girl on right of you.
Take newspapers and say:
JOHN, DID YOU EVER HEAR OF THE MAGIC CARPET OF BAGDAD? YOU NEVER DID? WELL, YOU'VE LEARNED SOMETHING ALREADY.
Spread papers out on floor.
NOW, JOHN, YOU STAND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MAGIC CARPET. AS LONG AS YOU STAY ON THE MAGIC CARPET NOTHING WILL HARM YOU... BUT I WON'T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU MOVE OFF OF IT. MARY, DID YOU EVER SEE A MAGIC HANDKERCHIEF?
Pick up double hank, keeping control of opening along side, holding hank at two corners, allowing it to hang down in front of you.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAGIC HANK AND ANY OTHER IS THAT IT HAS A SIDE ON THIS SIDE AND A SIDE ON THIS SIDE.
Turn hank around, thus indirectly showing it to be ordinary(?).
NOW I'M GOING TO ALLOW YOU TO HOLD THE MAGIC HANK, MARY... AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU CAME?... AND WE'LL MAKE A LITTLE BAG LIKE THIS.
Bring two corners of hank together, then bring a third corner to meet them, and finally the last corner, holding all in fingers of same hand with thumb inserted part way into opening. Hand hank to girl placing her fingers on it so she is really holding open for easy insertion of egg later. No one can tell anything unusual about this, and it saves fumbling for the open side later. Opening is toward rear.
Pick up egg bag with concealed egg, turn to boy, and say:
JOHN, DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?... NO?... WELL, YOU BELIEVE IN MAGICIANS, DON'T YOU?... WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF A MAGICIAN HAD MADE HIMSELF INVISIBLE AND WAS HIDING IN THIS BAG WAITING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO HOP OUT AND THUMP YOU ON THE HEAD?...
As you are saying this, turn bag inside out... then snap finger on top of his head... but not enough to hurt him... just to make him jump enough for a laugh.
WELL, THE BAG DOESN'T SEEM TO BE HIDING ANY MAGICIANS TODAY, SO YOU'RE SAFE.
Showing bag apparently empty again, opening zippers, and letting boy run his hand clear down through.
NOW, JOHN, I WANT YOU TO HOLD THE BAG...
put in one hand and raise above his head so he can't look in...
SO THE TRAJECTORY OF THE PARALLELOGRAM SYNCHRONIZES WITH THE PERIMETER OF THE CIRCLE... JUST LIKE THAT.
Take celluloid egg... hold up... say to girl:
NOW I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
Whisper for her to smell it, moving it near her face.
NOW JOSEPHINE... I MEAN, MARY... YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THE EGG.
Drop into double hank, of course between the hanks sewn together. Tell her to put one hand at bottom to feel if it is there. Show shape of egg in hank.
YOU HAVE THE EGG, FRANCES... I MEAN MARY... HAVE YOU NOT?
Jerk hank out of her hands, waving it a little to show egg is gone and say:
YOU HAVE NOT.
Whisper for her to look under coat. Turn to put hank on table as she does so.
JOHN, DID YOU FEEL ANYTHING PECULIAR?
Show hands empty (casually). LOOK. Take egg bag, fingers spread wide apart, reach in, and take out egg.
Up to this point all remarks are addressed to kids on stage, as though there were no audience. Now turn to audience, talking to them as well as to kids on stage.
EVERYONE LIKES TO DO A TRICK SOMETIMES AND YOU HAVE SEEN THAT THIS ONE WILL FOOL MOST PEOPLE. IT IS EASY TO HAVE YOUR MOTHER MAKE A LITTLE CLOTH BAG LIKE THIS... AND YOU SHOULD ALL BE ABLE TO GET AN EGG. NOW WATCH CLOSELY...
FIRST OF ALL YOU PUT THE EGG INTO THE BAG...
Put celluloid egg into secret pocket in bag. Take hand out quickly as though holding something... stick hand in pocket with real egg while you shake egg bag with mouth downward to make it appear empty.
WHO KNOWS WHERE THE EGG WENT?
They yell: In your pocket. Say:
THAT'S RIGHT... I SEE YOU ARE PAYING ATTENTION.
Take REAL egg from pocket and hand to boy, saying:
SO THERE CAN BE NO DECEPTION, YOU TAKE THE EGG, HOLD IT UP HERE...
...here run open the zippers on bottom of bag...
AND YOU DROP IT IN.
When he does, of course, it goes straight through to floor and breaks. IMPORTANT:--Reach quickly to floor as though trying to save egg and pick up with right hand... bag is in left... letting egg run down on newspapers... slowly drop shell or whatever is left of egg... shake goo from hand... and look sad. This business greatly increases the laughs and allows those in back to see the broken egg.
You won't have to say anything... you can't, as the laughs will be too loud. Don't crack a smile... just look at the bag... then at the boy... then at the girl... then at the audience. The sheepish grins the kids give you add to the laughter. When laughs die down, say:
NOW WE HAVE NO EGG. WELL, NEVER MIND, JOHN... IT WAS ALL MY FAULT. I WENT OUT AND LEFT THE GARAGE DOORS OPEN.
Run hand down through bag, showing it open top and bottom. (Remember, it still conceals the celluloid egg.)
BUT NEVER MIND, MAYBE MY MAGIC INVISIBLE HEN WILL LAY ANOTHER.
Show bag casually empty... ask girl to blow on hand... show this hand empty... reach in... and take out celluloid egg.
NOW SOME OF YOU NEARLY CAUGHT ME AT THE START WHEN I PUT THE EGG IN MY POCKET, SO I'LL SHOW YOU SOME MORE ABOUT IT. YOU SAW ME PUT THE EGG INTO BAG.
Place celluloid egg up into bag... holding bag upside down...
AND YOU SAW ME PUT IT IN MY POCKET... BUT THERE'S ONE PART YOU DIDN'T SEE. YOU DIDN'T SEE ME TAKE IT OUT OF MY POCKET...
...take out of pocket and turn slightly toward left...
AND PUT IT UP UNDER MY ARM WHEN I TURNED TO SAY SOMETHING TO JOHN.
Openly take egg from pocket... put up under left arm, holding elbow awkwardly against side.
THEN, OF COURSE, YOU CAN SHOW THE BAG EMPTY. THEN GET THE BAG AGAIN WHEN YOU TURN TO JOHN AND SLIP IT BACK INTO BAG AGAIN.
Quickly turn to John... openly get egg... and drop in bag. Reach in and take out, as you explain.
DON'T FORGET NOW... YOU PRETEND TO PUT THE EGG INTO BAG.
You really do this time... hiding it in secret pocket.
BUT YOU QUICKLY TAKE IT OUT AND PUT DOWN IN YOUR POCKET...
...take empty hand out as though holding egg and put into pocket...
BUT YOU DON'T LEAVE IT IN YOUR POCKET BUT PUT IT UP UNDER YOUR ARM.
Take hand from pocket as though hiding egg... and put up under arm, as you did before... holding arm tightly against side so they think egg is under left arm pit, as before.
THEN, OF COURSE, YOU CAN SHOW THE BAG EMPTY.
Do so, keeping celluloid egg therein out of sight.
BUT YOU MUST BE CAREFUL NOT TO RAISE YOUR LEFT ARM.
Turn toward right a little so left side is toward audience.
BECAUSE IF YOU RAISED YOUR ARM...
Do so...
THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY EGG.
Open zippers and ask John to run hand down through egg bag. Turn inside out, etc., to show empty (?).
STEP INSIDE, JOHN, AND HAVE A LOOK AROUND.
Ask boy to take right wrist... show bag to girl and ask her if it is empty. Have her take left wrist... plainly show both hands empty as you are doing this... have girl blow on hand again... reach into bag... and take out egg.
AND THERE'S THE EGG AGAIN... WHICH ONLY GOES TO SHOW THAT THAT WHICH IS, ISN'T; EVEN IF IT IS."
From here I go into EGGS FROM THE HAT ROUTINE.
If this egg and hat routine is not being used, thank girl, and help her down. Come back to boy and shake hands, thanking him. With left hand, grip his right elbow, your right thumb pressing into the inside joint, fingers on bony part of forearm. When you have finished thanking him, and his hand drops to his side, squeeze his right arm with fingers placed as above, and his right arm will pop up again as though he was going to shake hands again. Shake his hand, looking kind of surprised, thank him, say what a good time we've all had, start walking to left stage with him, and repeat this shaking hands business about four times before he gets to edge of stage... and it means plenty of additional laughs.
NOTE:--It is not absolutely necessary to use a zipper bag to have the egg break. If a regular bag, closed at bottom, is being used, just as he drops egg turn head a little and say something to girl as though you did not see boy, and at the same time move bag a few inches toward right so egg misses bag entirely. Or, you can do as above, only bring left hand holding rear of bag open, forward a little to close opening of bag an instant.
OUTLINE OF EGG-BAG ROUTINE
- Bandana hank shown, gathered together at corners and held by girl at right.
- Egg bag shown empty and given to boy on left. Egg dropped into hank on felt in there by girl. Egg vanishes from hank while held by girl.
- Egg appears in bag previously shown empty and held by boy.
- Offer to show "more about how it is done."
- Audience detects move when right hand with egg is placed into bag, then hand goes quickly to pocket. Audience says it is in pocket.
- Egg is taken from pocket, handed to boy, and he is told to hold above bag and drop egg in bag so everyone can see all is fair. Egg goes through on floor and breaks.
- Bag casually shown empty, hands shown empty, girl blows on hand, another egg is taken from bag.
- Again showing how to do it, egg openly taken from hag, put in pocket, then up under left arm pit while showing bag really empty.
- This is repeated, apparently leaving egg under left arm pit while bag is shown empty.
- Egg disappears from under arm pit.
- Bag and hands shown empty, wrists held by boy and girl, girl blows on hand and egg reproduced from bag again.
- Eggs from hat follows.