WALKER'S WINE FROM HAT
By LIONEL WALKEREFFECT: Performer shows a derby hat empty, sits down in a chair, tells a story about complying with his wife's request to empty his entire stock of wine down the sink, and takes out seven whiskey glasses filled with liquid, one at a time.
SECRET: The hat is empty. Affixed to the back of the chair by two screw eyes is a heavy wire frame (fig. C) which supports a specially made holder, containing seven whiskey glasses two-thirds full of liquid (fig. B). In the illustration only one glass is shown in the holder for clarity.
Fig. A illustrates the gimick attached to this holder which is grasped between the first and second fingers, thus enabling the right hand to rest on the back of the chair while holding the hat, securing holder in the same manner as described by Frank Lane in "Glass of Water Through the Hat" in Help Yourself. To load glasses into hat merely lift hat and holder up, and away from chair, tilting holder into hat as you do so. See Fig. D.
PATTER and PRESENTATION: Show hat to be empty, start patter and approach chair.
"I had twelve bottles of whiskey in my cellar and my wife asked me to empty the entire lot down the sink."
Rest hand with hat on chair, and as you say the next sentence get the load into hat, and casually sit down with hat in your lap.
"I always do as my wife asks, so I brought all the bottles up into the kitchen. I pulled the cork out of the first bottle, and emptied the entire contents down the sink. That is, all but one glass, which I drank."
Wink, and take one glass out of hat, drink and set on table.
"Then I pulled the cork out of the second bottle and did likewise, emptied every drop down the sink. Well, that is, all but one glass, which I drank."
Take another glass from hat and drink.
"Then I extracted the cork from the third bottle, poured the good booze down the glass... down the SINK, with the exception of one glass which I drank."
Take another glass out of hat and drink. You are now getting slightly intoxicated, and get "tighter" every drink from now on. Drink another glass after each description.
"Next I pulled the cork out of the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, with the exception of one glass which I drank.
"Next I pulled the bottle out of the cork, drank one sink, and threw the rest down the glass.
"Then I pulled the sink out of the sixth cork and poured the bottle down my neck.
"Then I pulled the bottle out of my glass, poured the cork down the sink, all but the sink which I drank.
"Then I pulled the next glass out of my throat, poured the sink down the bottle and drank the cork.
"Then when all the bottles were empty, I steadied the house with one hand, and counted the bottles as they went by. And there was TWENTY-FIVE, so I counted them again. And as the houses was going by too I counted them too and there were Seventy-five! Then I proceeded to wash and wipe all the bottles. I couldn't get the brush inside the bottles so I turned the bottles inside out and washed and wiped every one. Then I went upstairs to my wife and told her what I had done. And BOY! I got the WIFIEST little NICEY in the world! (SAY THIS LAST LINE AS YOU GET UP, MUSS YOUR HAIR, AND STAGGER OFF STAGE.)
A dandy, Lionel, a dandy--just a kid, Folks, just a kid--but a swell kid--he can have anything I got--and I guess that goes for him, too--Lionel says if you are run down, get the driver's license number. The only fault I have to find with Lionel is the way he shakes hands. You know, he sticks his mitt way up in the air when he meets you. You don't know whether he's going to shake hands or start the minuet. He's O.K. tho', and I'm sure you're all glad you met him here. Another bow? get out o' here, keed.
You know I'm a pretty tough feller to make laugh... I'm supposed to dish out humor myself... and I've trained myself NOT to laugh; but four years ago at Fort Wayne, Indiana, I saw a man do a routine with two kids that was a scream from start to finish. I laughed my head off; and that's why you're going to hear next from the feller that made me laugh. If he doesn't affect you the same way, there's something the matter with you. Here he is... play him on, George... It's:
BILL NEFF FROM INDIANA, PA.