Patter for the Vanishing Bowl of Water

(After last trick.) Now I have a trick I must be very careful about. Because I am going to use a very dear keepsake and curiosity. You know most actors get up very late: 11 o'clock - 12 o'clock, and some don't get up even then. I know one actor who was forty years old before he knew what oatmeal was. And when he had his first dish this is the bowl he used. (Show bowl.)

This is the curiosity. I got this from his room - when he wasn't looking. Wasn't it bold (bowl) - of me? It's really red, but I had it painted green so the red wouldn't wear off.

(Have pitcher of water handy.) Did you ever see any of this stuff. This is what they put under bridges (water) and wash clothes with. It's all right to bathe in too - that is, if you bathe. Did you ever see an actor wash when he gets up? (Put ends of fingers in bowl and take two drops of water and put on face, then grope around stage for a few moments with eyes closed as if searching for a towel.) - I LOVE to do this trick. It's so clean.

Now I want to show you this tray. I usually use a four spot or a queen but today's a holiday, so I'll use the tray. - (Show both sides.) Brand new, cost me 39 cents in Kresge's (some department store) without the stamps. - Now I put the bowl of water on the tray and I'll show you how the waiter brought this in to us one night when we were playing cards. We had a lovely game. We were playing stri..... (You were going to say STRIP POKER, but catch yourself and say.....) We were playing casino.....

(After laugh, say): - Pardon me I was thinking of another night. Well one of the boys thought he'd have a drink so he called over to the waiter and said, "Hey Sam, bring us a nice cold drink." The waiter was a republican from the Sahara desert, and this is what he brought in. (Nod to bowl of water.) When the fellow saw the water, he shrieked and said, "Take it away quick." It made the waiter so nervous that he grabbed a handkerchief like this from the table, put it over the bowl and then brought it down to the man and said, "Don't you want it?" The man said, "I should say not!" "WELL, the waiter said, then all you have to do is to blow on it as if it were beer, and you won't have it any more. So he blew on the handkerchief and bowl and whipping away the kerchief, the water had vanished. (Show bowl gone.) - Then he gave him this. (Take half pint bottle from back pocket full of tea and show to audience.) - Want some? - Try and get it. It was all in the hankderchief. It will vanish anything. Even your mother-in-law. - The first 85 people to applaud for the trick, I'll give them one gratis.

(Bow.)