Patter for Card Act or Routine

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a big. 53 pieces of baggage, 52 cards and a suitcase. (Show cards.) First I'll try and show you a few of the many cuts and shuffles that can be performed with an ordinary pack. I think there's 52 here. I'll count them. (Count aloud 1, 2, 3, then run through deck fast and mumble and then take last cards and say, 51, 52.)

The first shuffle is the way they shuffle cards in China. I was never in China myself but a friend of mine showed me how they shuffle them there. - I don't think he was ever there, either.

My shuffles get better and better as they go along -(Aside.) Gee, I'm glad he said that. - The next way is the way they shuffle them in New York, the New York shuffle. This is a hard one, years of practice and self denial - over a bed -(Now wave the deck around in circles.) This is the Mexican shuffle, you can see that by the revolutions. I usually get a little applause on that one. (If you get a little say - That's little enough.)

I always win when I play cards and I always lose when I play HORSES. (Point to forehead.) See that scar? I got that from Poker. The cook hit me with one. -(Color changes.) Now If you have, say the seven of spades, and you don't want it, just rub your hand over it, and it'll change to the - Now you squeeze the - and it changes to the.... - You know it's wonderful what a little squeezing will do. A lot of people think I take the card off the back and put it on the front. (Have queen on top.) Now you slap the.... - Well, I don't like to slap a QUEEN. (Change queen for another card.) I'll slap the four, and it changes to the.... - Anything for a change. I'm almost working for nothing. I got a little change for the act and I'm giving it back to you.

I'm going to have someone take a card - someone with a lot of nerve - Is there any Insurance agent in the house?. (Go into card trick.)