Patter for Poko Chinko
(Or Blocks off the cords.) For Audiences of mostly Children

Want me to tell you a story? All right, I suppose that every one here knows that Chinese people live in China don't you?. (Have two boys on stage to help you, or one will do.) Johnny, do you know what a Chinaman does? You don't have to tell everybody. Just whisper in my ear. (Put ear down.) WHAT? He eats RATS?. (Laugh.)

Well, does everyone know that Chinese money has holes in It? All right. Johnny, look this money all over. (Pass round discs to him.) And Johnny I want you to notice that especially on the yellow ones, that the sides would be closer to the middle, if the ends were farther away. You can see that can't you. Now over in China, they don't have clothes like we do. They wear robes and they have no pocket books like we have. They have to put their money on a rope and tie knots, then they put it around their neck like this, and then put their robe over them so no one will know how much money they own. If I put any money on the rope now, it would come off the other end. There is no sense in that, so they have a little ball like this and they tie this on the end and then they put the money on.

Now Johnny give me any color as long as it's red. (Maybe he'll hand the red. If he does, say - No the red one, and kid him on every color until he gives you the green for the red, etc., etc. There's lots of laughs here.)

Now I'm going to tie some knots in the rope and there's lots of boys and girls who think I don't really tie knots, so I'll tie a couple and then Johnny can tie some. (Start to tie, take ends of ropes, and when you tie, bring the ends out of course, and hit Johnny in the belly, this will bring laughs.) Excuse me Johnny, I didn't mean that. Pardon me. (Keep talking and tie another and hit him again. Work this up, there's 16 laughs in it. - Now when you want him to tie some, whisper for him to hit YOU the same way, and when he does, it'll be a roar. Jump away and holler.) "Here, cut out! Then walk back and whisper.) "Do it again". (And continue until you get enough laughs.)

(Now show hank with the two holes.) Does anyone see anything the matter with this handkerchief? That's right. There's two holes. I'm going to call this the Chinese robe and the holes are for the Chinaman to put his arms through. Now, Johnny give me one rope, and I'll put this hole through the rope. (Laugh.) Did I say hole through the rope? Excuse me, I meant hole through the rope. And the other hole through the rope.

Now Johnny you hold it about here. That's the boy. Don't stand too close to the lights, Johnny, you'll pop your corns. Now everyone knows what a robber is. - A robber takes your money away with a gun, but over in China they don't have guns. If a robber wants to rob a Chinaman he just shakes him in the air (you have your hand underneath hank while boy is holding ropes) and the money falls right off. It's the funniest thing in the world. I was over in China last Thursday and I saw a Chinaman being robbed. Johnny show them how easy it is to rob a Chinaman. Shake, come on Johnny. And here's the money. Johnny robbed himself, didn't you Johnny? Now, Johnny, show everybody that the knots are still in the rope, and then take a bow, because everyone is going to clap for you.