Patter for Dollar Bill in Egg

Seven years ago, Ladies and gentlemen, eight of the greatest magicians in the world got together at the Hotel McAlpin in New York City. We were all in a small room. (Pause for laugh.) That sounded like a dirty laugh. They decided to give a prize to the one who did the best trick. And I won the prize. I'm going to show the trick. I'm very proud of this trick, as I had the honor of presenting the trick before President Coolidge - was elected.

In order to do the trick right, may I borrow from one of the gentlemen in the audience a hundred dollar bill. (Pause for laughter.) - that sounds like a good gag. How about ten cents? Well I was only kidding, I don't want a hundred, who'll let me take a dollar bill.

Ah thank you sir, I'll read the numbers on the bill. Will you write them down, sir? -(Read.) Have you the numbers, sir? You have?. (Start to go back to stage.) All right sir, you keep the numbers and I'll keep the bill. (Laugh.) Well the gentleman couldn't very well remember the numbers. I couldn't myself, but I want him to be sure he gets the same bill back, so I'll tear a piece off of the corner of the bill so he'll recognize it later. (Laugh when you tear a piece from the bill.) NOW CAN I GET A TEN DOLLAR BILL?. (Laugh.)

I'll wrap the bill in a small parcel and wrap it in this handkerchief. This is an extra large handkerchief, but I have an extra large nose. That is, as noses run. - I'm going to ask the gentleman if he can feel the dollar bill through the handkerchief. You don't? My, the gentleman is not feeling very well. Do you feel it now? Fine. He's feeling better. Now when I say three, sir, I'll whip the handkerchief away and your dollar will be gone. That will show you how quickly money goes with magicians. One, two, three. GO! And there you are sir, it's gone.

Pardon me, sir, what is that behind your ear? Well I'll be a son-of-a-gun! AN EGG? I'm surprised at you, sir. It's a good one too. I just laid it in my hand. Would you examine the egg, sir? Don't squeeze it too hard, you might bend it. Is it O.K.? It isn't cracked at all? Lots of people think the egg is cracked and it's really the magician. - And they're usually right.

Now I don't like to bite an egg in two. Here's my magic wand. Every magician uses a wand. I used to use a hot water bottle but it leaked out. All I use my wand for, is to break the egg. And if I'm successful I'll find the dollar bill in the egg. Here it is. There's a little egg juice on it. If any one has a piece of toast, we'll have an egg sandwich. I'll wipe a little of the sauce off of it, and I'll ask the gentleman to let me take the corner and I'll show him first of all that the little corner fits, to show it's the same bill and then I'll hold it up and show it to the rest of the customers.

Does that fit all right, sir? Thank you. I'll show the rest now. It's a perfect fit. And I couldn't very well give back the bill with the juice on it, so I'll keep this one and give back another one I have in my pocket all ready, and I'll give it to this gentleman. (Pass it to him.) and thank him for the use of his time and money, and remain your loving daughter, Agnes.