Opening Talk for Magic Acts

Straight:
1. Ladies gentlemen, with your kind permission, I will try to amuse, entertain and instruct you with a few experiments in the art of legerdermaine, or sleight of hand. In the course of my entertainment, it will be necessary for me to ask several persons in the audience to assist me in order to obtain the best possible effects. I assure you there will be no levity, I will play no jokes upon you. You are my guests while on the platform, and I trust you will be able to give me the assistance I ask for. My first experiment will be --

Comedy:
2. Ladies and anti-prohibitionists. (Pause.) I can't sing, dance, play the piano, recite or read, but if I can have you look at my face for awhile, I'll fool you with a pack of cards and a pack of nerve. Here's the cards and. (Show cards.) you'll see the nerve as I go along. I'm very good at remembering tricks. I took a memory course once. I forgot the name of the course, and I'll try to remember everything I know. I could tell you how much money I owed people, but I'm only allowed a half-hour for my act. Kindly notice these cards, they're all different. (Show faces.) they make them that way so you can tell them apart. There's 52 here. I think there are all here. My first trick is a dirty trick. Remember there's cops here. If you anything, its your own fault.

Comedy:
3. (Magician enters.) Ladies and gentlemen: the management of this house. (Hall or theater.) wishes to announce that he is now going to present a very and usual thing. He has a remarkable treat in store for you. By that I don't mean that the ushers are going to pass chocolate eclairs or nut sundaes among you. The treat you are about to receive is of a magical nature. In other words, I'm going to do some tricks. And I'm good. Some people like me and some don't, but whether they like me are not, I'm good. The first trick --

Comedy:
4. Ladies and gentlemen: I'm very happy to be with youse here tonight. (Say this in a nice society way and you will get a giggle right away on the "youse".) And I shall try and give you an imitation of a bottle of Scotch whisky. I hope you get a kick out of my act. Seven years ago, 8 of the greatest magician's in the world got together in New York City at the Pennsylvania hotel. We were all in a small room. (Motion with hands to indicate room, then pause. This "we" business is a surefire laugh.) and they agreed whoever did the best would get a prize and I did the best trick. I wrote a letter with a Post Office pen over in Cicero. (Name rube local town.) My first trick will be the one that won the prize. You take an ordinary, etc. etc. etc. (Go into trick.)