CHAPTER TWELVE

MY PUBLICITY STUNTS

IN America the Press agents would sell their souls to the Devil if, after the transaction, they could make it into an advertising stunt. They were always at me to provide them with good write-ups, and as often as not I was able to do what they asked.

I remember one occasion in San Francisco. I think it would be in 1901. The Press agent of the Orpheum Theatre invited me to go round the city and do various stunts to arouse public interest. I agreed, and we started out.

First we bought a ton of coal, for which I paid three dollars. The salesman gave me a receipt and put the money in a drawer.

"You are sure I gave you three dollars?" I inquired.

"Oh yes, sir. Here it is."

But when he opened the drawer there was only one dollar there. We laughed at his astonishment and then I paid him the missing two dollars. Palming played a very important part.

From there we went down to the market and found a man who sold eggs.

"Are your eggs fresh?" I asked.

"Oh yes, sir."

"Do you mind if I break one to see? I'll pay for it first, of course."

I paid for the egg, broke it, and there was a five-dollar gold piece inside. My friend pretended to be very surprised, and the man was quite overcome with astonishment. He had never known of a hen which laid five dollars a time.

I paid for and broke another egg. There inside was another gold piece.

"May I have half a dozen of your fine eggs?" I asked.

"No. I ain't going to let you have more than three."

I paid for the three eggs, broke them, and took out the gold pieces from each.

"This is fine. I'll take the whole lot at twice the price they are marked."

"Oh no, you won't," burst out the astonished fellow with the eggs. And he started breaking his eggs as fast as he could. Of course, he found no gold coins inside any of them, and when he had broken about a score he began to look very rueful.

We thought that by then we had had our joke, and so I paid him for all the eggs he had broken and left him fairly happy, though I am quite sure that he would hate losing any of those eggs in case one of them was a "magic egg".

In 1921 I was invited to play at Keith's Theatre, Colombus, Ohio. This theatre was situated up an arcade, and they had been doing rather badly there and had decided to close down. I was invited to play the last week. At that time I was touring with the first version of "A Woman Sawn in Half".

I had already run a whole lot of stunts in connection with that act. In one town we had insured the girl for 100,000 dollars, but on the first night of the show the manager of the Metropolitan Insurance Co. of Cincinatti came on to the stage and cancelled the policy before the whole audience on the grounds that the act was too dangerous. In Pittsburg we invited 100 doctors to be present; fifty-five appeared in response, three of them being ladies. I invited one of them to help me saw through the girl, but I met with no response. Often the firm which manufactured the saws would make a big display in the foyer of the theatre, and I would have ten men dressed up as undertakers. Once I had twelve girls standing there, each marked with the performance at which she would be sawn in two. There was always an ambulance before the theatre "in case the saw slips".

At Toledo, Ohio, the manager wanted something new, and so I decided that I would dispense with this fake ambulance and employ a real one. I arranged that, at a given signal, someone should ring for the ambulance, saying that there had been an accident on the stage. I began the act as usual, but suddenly the girl screamed, and it seemed to the audience as if a shred of her clothing had been pulled away by the saw and that the instrument had really bitten into her body.

There was pandemonium at once. People all over the theatre left their seats, shouting and screaming and crying "Murder". I was called nasty names by indignant folk in the front row, and into the middle of it all there burst a doctor and the men carrying the stretcher.

When they arrived on the stage I shouted, "There's nothing the matter here. We don't want you."

Then I turned to the audience and said, "I have only torn the young lady's dress. If you will give her time to change I will do the trick again with the same girl.

There really was nothing whatever the matter with the girl's dress. I had merely pulled a piece of material through the hole in the box. But she went off and changed and the act went off splendidly. The audience, having recovered from the fright I had given them, enjoyed themselves very much, and I played to packed houses for the rest of the week.

During that week the Press agent from Colombus came to discuss a stunt for his theatre. I suggested that we did the one which had been so successful at Toledo. "No," he said, "I want something good, too. We've got a tough crowd way back there, and if they aren't pleased they'll break up all the seats."

I had just read in the paper that the Mayor of Columbus had resigned and was being succeeded on the following Tuesday by a grocer, a real martinet, who used to smell the policemen's breaths in the morning to make sure they had not been drinking. My show started on Monday, and I suggested to the Press agent that we have the Mayor stop the show.

The whole plot worked marvellously. The papers were full of it before I arrived in Colombus. "GOLDIN ACT BANNED. THF MAYOR SAYS NO HORRORS FOR COLOMBUS. GOLDIN WILL SHOW, SAYS MANAGEMENT." When I arrived on the Sunday only the manager, the Mayor, and the Press agent knew of the stunt; everyone else thought it was deadly serious. Quite a number of people there were protesting against the ban, saying it was a slur on the good name of Colombus. If other towns had seen the show, why not Colombus?

All Monday morning we were engaged in argument. The first show was due to begin at 2.15, and at twelve no agreement was in sight.

Then three men strode on to the stage. The leader came up to me and said, "Look here, Goldin, I'm a millionaire, and I'm going to back you. To hell with the Mayor! I'm prepared to pay all your expenses up to 100,000 dollars if you will fight him."

I consulted the manager about this unexpected ally, but while we were talking together he pulled out his chequebook and asked, "How much?"

I told him not to bother yet. I said that I was certain that we should reach some amicable solution, and so we did. It was decided that one performance only should take place, and that a special committee of prominent townspeople should sit on the stage and judge whether the show should go on for the rest of the week or not.

The theatre was packed out two hours before the performance was due to begin. There was a huge crowd jammed in the arcade and every window there was smashed. The police were utterly helpless.

When the curtain went up I appeared and made a speech. I said that I thought it hard lines that the show should be banned. I pointed out that quite a number of people would have no pay that week. I said that I had been playing the act for six months and had no complaint so far. It seemed a pity that the people of Colombus should be deprived of a show which had been a source of enjoyment throughout the U.S.A.

At that there were cries from all over the house. "Go ahead. We'll back you."

I then asked the committee to step on to the stage. As soon as I saw the two women who had been chosen I knew that I was up against a tough proposition. They were hard-faced spinsters, and they looked as if they were prepared to give a very bitter report. If they did my plot might turn out very much to my disadvantage.

As I prepared the "operation", I showed them, or pretended to show them, how it was done. "These are artificial legs, of course; don't touch them" (actually they weren't), "but mind you keep it to yourselves. That's a false skirt. It's quite harmless, you see. just deception." I went on whispering to them on those lines for quite a while.

When it was all over I turned to them and said, "Ladies, this is one of the most painful moments of my life. Tell me and tell this great audience--is there to be a show in Colombus? You have seen everything, and the decision is yours."

"Well," said one, "I see no harm in it at all. 'Nor me, either," chimed in the other.

I pretended to breathe a great sigh of relief, and the audience burst into an orgy of clapping and cheering.

I played to packed houses all the rest of that week, and the theatre did so well that the manager decided not to close after all.

This by no means exhausts the list of stunts organized by Press agents in the States. At one theatre I sent one half of the woman for a pair of shoes and the other for an ice-cream soda. I had to engage two special vans for that. I used to organize fake challenges from saw manufacturers; once a rival firm in Minneapolis really did challenge me, but luckily that did not upset the trick at all.

Once I was in a country shop and I was challenged to make a rope stand up just as I made the rope rise in the Indian Rope Trick. First, I asked the proprietor to send for a reporter, for I did not want to lose a good advertisement, and I made the rope rise then and there, right in the middle of the shop.

The public needs to be wooed and attracted in this way, and I hope I shall be forgiven for these slight deceptions. They were great fun while they were being carried out, and I believe I never did anyone any harm by them. I certainly did myself and the theatre proprietors a lot of good.

Another of my great stunts was only indirectly an advertising stunt. It was put on for the entertainment of five hundred editors of the Hearst's Press in America, who were assembled in New York for a conference.

When I was staying at the New York Hotel I was paid a visit by Mr. Konigsburg, the general manager of Hearst's enterprises, and Mr. Metcham, another of the high officials. They told me about this forthcoming dinner, which was to be given at the Friar's Club, and they said that they had some of the biggest artistes in America appearing in the entertainment. But they wanted some great and sensational effect which the assembled editors would never forget as long as they lived, and they felt that I was the only man who could supply it.

I told them to give me a few days in which to think it over. Then I disclosed my plan, which was similar to the one I played for Schlesinger in South Africa.

I suggested that I put on the show with my royal Bengal tiger in it. Then we would dress up a big dog in a tiger-skin and let it loose amongst the audience. That ought to be a big enough sensation.

The gentlemen were quite satisfied and said that it was a wonderful idea. But in two days' time they called again and said that it was no good after all. Some of their editors were tough guys, and they came from Texas and Oklahoma. They were sure to bring their pistols with them, and if they thought a real tiger was loose there would be some shooting. The scheme was too dangerous; would I think out something else?

After that I worked out an amazing stunt, which I called, "You Can't Believe All You See in the Papers". It was a huge success, and was quite one of the most wonderful effects I have ever produced.

On the stage there was a cabinet, some six feet high and about thirty inches square. It was made of a wooden framework, and this was covered with newspapers. There was also a small platform, about two inches thick and ten inches from the ground.

After I had done some small effects with the cabinet I asked my female assistant to step on to the platform. Then I placed the cabinet over her head, so that she was completely hidden from the audience.

I then turned to the assembled editors and asked for fifteen volunteers to come on to the stage and find the lady. They trooped up. One of them, I remember, was Senator Copeland. I lined them up and explained to them what I wanted them to do.

The girl broke the paper with her hands, so that all the audience could see her hands. Then the first man in the line took the hand nearest to him. "Now," I said, "at the given signal, I want you to run through the cabinet and catch the girl."

I gave the signal and they ran forward. There was no girl. They scoured the stage, searching for a trap-door or a way out at the back. They could find nothing at all. The girl had vanished into thin air. Some of them were so annoyed that they began to use terrible language. They looked everywhere, and at last they came to me and asked me how it was done.

I did not tell them at the time, for it would have spoiled their fun, but I will tell you now.

First of all I searched all New York for a good female impersonator, and at last I found a man who would fool anyone. He fooled me when he was made up. This was my "female assistant". He had evening dress under his clothes-special evening dress which took up little space. When I covered him with the cabinet he began hastily to take off his wig and silk dress, and these he placed in a small trap in the platform. This was only two inches deep, and when the door was closed it automatically locked. He then broke the papers and put his arms outside. His hand was grasped by the first man in the line.

Amongst those fifteen volunteers I had three confederates. Two of them were the first two men in the line. They had been told to pass the man inside the cabinet, so that the "girl" came out third. The third confederate left the stage as soon as the line began to move, so there were never more than fifteen men on the stage at the same time, and I was able to tease the audience by saying, "Look, there are only fifteen men on the stage. Where is that girl?"

That was a most successful illusion, and yet it was not the high spot of the evening. I had prepared another and even more complicated trick.

To do this I had to take a great deal of trouble. I asked Mr. Konigsburg to print me one thousand copies of a special paper. This contained gossip about all the editors present, and it had many amusing details about their private lives. All the things printed there were the things the editors would do their best to keep out of the papers. Then I began to reconstruct the ceiling of the room in which the entertainment was to take place.

This ceiling was supported by eleven joists, each of them richly ornamented. I had special boards made as exact replicas of these joists, and I had them hinged alongside, with a space between which would hold a number of newspapers. I then had all the thousand special papers concealed in the ceiling, and when the job was done no one would have suspected that they were there. Each of the hinged boards was connected to a lever on the stage, and the newspapers were placed so that when the boards were lifted they would fall and open out.

At the given point in the programme Mr. Konigsburg, the chairman, rose and made a speech. It was a very remarkable speech, and everyone was very interested. He announced that for the first time in the history of the firm the editors were to receive a special edition of their paper by air. 'Now, gentlemen," he finished up, "will you look at number sixteen on the programme?"

All the heads bent down, and that was a signal for Mr. Konigsburg to press the button for the papers to be released.

The effect was even better than I had anticipated. The papers all opened, and for an interval of ten seconds the room was thrown into total darkness, for the lighting came from the ceiling. There was a tremendous noise, and most of the editors took refuge under the tables, thinking the ceiling had collapsed.

When they got up again they found that the room was full of newspapers, and they began to laugh. When they opened the papers and read about each other the laughter grew until it was greater in volume than any laughter I have heard before or since. They laughed so much that they were not interested in the rest of the entertainment.

To this day some of those editors do not know how the newspapers came to be in the room. The boards were so made that they fell into place again as soon as the papers had dropped, and from the floor no one could see that the joists had been tampered with. It was a completely successful stunt.

The next day when I met Mr. Konigsburg he complimented me on my two successes, and he said that he had been so pleased that he had thrown a double page of the Sunday Magazine Section of the New York American open to me. I could do with it what I liked.

At that time the paper was read by 11,000,000 people, and this meant a great deal to me. But I was never able to take advantage of the offer, for I had to sail to keep my engagements in England before I had a chance to write up the material.

The girls who have taken part in my act "A Woman Sawn in Half" have often aroused great public interest. Indeed, I have sometimes wondered who gets the most publicity, the "victim" or the "doctor".

There was one girl who put on a particularly good performance at the Manchester Hippodrome, and after the show a thousand people waited for her at the stage door. She was a very shy young lady, and she would not venture forth to brave the applause of the admiring multitude. But she had to stay in the manager's office until one o'clock in the morning before she could escape.

Now I am going to let you into a great secret most of the "challenges" I have received over this famous trick have been swindles. I often, when introducing my show, say, "Now we'll get along with the 'swindle'"; but very often the public does not appreciate how far that swindle goes.

I soon found that I had bigger houses when I was using a local girl for the "operation". Her picture caused comment in the local paper, and men and women wanted to read all about this brave girl. These details would appear--where she worked, how old she was, and so forth.

But in the entertainment world it is impossible to leave things to chance, so I had to "fix" my local girl. She was always the same one, and she travelled from town to town, challenging me regularly. She would go ahead of me, get good "digs" and find some job of work. Very often her landlady would pose as her mother. Everything was thought of.

Incidentally, that girl is now married to one of my assistants, and we often have a laugh about those "swindling" days.

The show usually went like this. I would start the trick with my usual girl, but just when things were about to begin I would pause and say, "I am very sorry, I had quite forgotten that this is the evening when I am to be challenged." Then I would turn to the manager and ask him to call for the young lady who is to be sawn in half for the first time.

There was no answer to his appeal.

At that I started to upbraid the manager. "You promised me that the young lady would be here. It is a great pity if we have to disappoint the audience."

"I assure you that I sent two tickets, one for herself and one for her mother," answered the manager.

Just then the girl piped up, "I am here."

I asked her why she had not answered before, and she replied that her mother was frightened and would not let her appear and run such a risk. At that I pretended to be very distressed, and asked her mother to change her mind. I asked whether her daughter was insured, and when she said no I told her that I would make myself personally responsible if anything happened. After a while the mother gave way to my appeals, and I was able to lead the girl on to the stage.

She first took off her coat, and then she handed to me a string of pearls, which I carefully counted before I put them in my pocket. Then I announced that, in order to do this trick properly, I would have to hypnotize her. I went on with a lot of pseudo-medical science about hypnotism stopping the circulation of the blood, and so on. Then I began to make the movements to put the girl into a hypnotic trance, and she became very rigid.

Having achieved this effect, I turned to the audience and made quite a speech. "This," I said, "is a very dangerous thing to undertake, and I cannot proceed unless I am convinced that the girl is really in a trance. I am therefore going to submit her to a test, and this test is one which a person under normal conditions could not withstand."

I then had the girl placed with her feet on one chair and her head on another. Her body remained rigid the whole time, but it tended to be lower between the chairs. Next a three-ply board was placed on her chest and two men climbed up and stood on it. She held their weight.

"Now," I said, "I am satisfied. She really is in a deep hypnotic trance, and is ready to be sawn in two."

With that the girl was placed in the box, so that her head and arms projected from one end and her feet from the other. "To revive her I shall clap my hands and count ten," I told the expectant audience.

The box was then sawn in half and I walked through the body. All this time the committee on the stage were holding the girl's hands and feet. The two pieces were placed together and the lid was opened.

"That's that," I said. "You can get up now."

Nothing happened.

"I have forgotten to clap my hands," I said. When I had done this the girl woke up and was lifted from the box, still rather rigid. This, as I announced to the audience, would pass away in time.

The first thing she did when she was standing up on the stage was to feel round her middle where she had been sawn in two, and then she turned to me and said, "When shall I start the trick?"

After that I gave her back her necklace. Her stocking had been torn, so I presented her with another pair. Then I handed her a box of chocolates, inside which there was a cheque, as a mark of my appreciation and to compensate her for the trouble to which she had been put.

That is the harmless swindle which has given pleasure to thousands of people all over the world. I am glad that in these reminiscences of mine I have nothing worse to confess, and I hope that those people I have taken in will forgive me. After all, it is my job to deceive.