I have wrestled with this issue for most of my life. I was always a member of the "show me" crowd. If I couldn't see it, touch it; experience it in some tangible way, I could not believe. I had missed the point entirely. Faith, true faith, requires a leap.

          My search for God took many forms. Academic course work in college and my own research exposed me to a variety of Eastern and Western religious traditions. None of them seemed to fill that void that we all have until we find the truth. I would "try on" different religions as if I was preparing to buy a suit. Even those that seemed to "fit" proved to wear out quickly.

          After many years I became disheartened. The death of my second son due to birth defects, a failed marriage, and personal financial troubles seemed to leave little to be thankful for. My search for some tangible "proof" of the existence of God had failed. I was not expecting what was to follow.

          A close friend at work would frequently stop by and suggest that I listen to The Grand Adventure radio program while I was driving home in the afternoon. His position was that the host of the program sounded "just like me." My friend was anxious to get my opinion of the program as he valued what I might think of it. I'll admit I was curious.

        Sometimes it takes a particular teacher to reach a particular student. Chuck Missler was that teacher for me. On a practical level, his arguments in support of the Judeo-Christian God really made me sit up and take notice. I had to admit, for the first time, the possibility of God's existence. This was very exciting but there was still a lingering doubt that prevented me from embracing the idea completely. My doubt came from my awareness that my own intellectual shortcomings may be shielding something fundamental that would disarm his compelling arguments.

          Frustration does not begin to describe how I was feeling. Clearly, the existence of God had been rationally "proven" to me using all of the tools of logic of which I had become so dependent on. Yet, despite all of this, doubt remained. If "logic" had failed me in my quest, short of a miracle, could the truth ever be revealed? I realized that God, if He exists, was too far beyond the limited faculties of humanity to comprehend.

          The exact timing of my revelation is hard to pin down. I continued to listen to the radio program for some months. The strength of the arguments for God's existence kept increasing over time. The only obstacle remaining in my search for the truth was the awareness of my own capacity for error. I would often listen to other Christian programming on either side of The Grand Adventure catching bits and pieces of their ministries just before or just after my program was aired.

          One recurring theme in all the programs was that it was not up to us to find God. He would find us... If we only ask Him to come into our hearts and reveal Himself. At first I considered this technique of "finding the Lord" rather contrived. Surely my efforts to deduct God's existence were on a higher level and bound to produce more satisfactory results. When I think back to that time I am amused at my naivete.

          Being a "scientifically" inclined person, after hearing the appeal that I simply "ask" the Lord to enter my life, I decided to give it a try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say. I had listened to enough of the "logical" proofs of His existence that my request to the Lord, while experimental, was genuine. Nothing. I tried many more times over the next few weeks without any particular success, or so I thought at the time.

          I cannot be sure what time of day it was when my prayer was answered. I had not been thinking about my "request" at the time. All I can be sure of is that I was at the bathroom sink and happened to glance up at my reflection in the mirror. Time seemed to stop. There were no thunderbolts, blinding lights, or anything else that would command my attention. Had there been, I might not have noticed them anyway. What I did notice was me.

          My reflection in the mirror stood out shining above all the other "proof" for God's existence that I had sought for so long. What did I see? A miracle! I was the miracle, God's handiwork. A living, thinking being with a soul stared back at me from the mirror.

           This was such incredible irony! Here I had sought the tangible proof for the existence of God and it had been literally staring me in the face my entire life. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees!! Who among us can deny the miracle of our own existence... "Logically" we should not exist, yet we do.

           Ever since that day, I can't stop seeing miracles all around me, my wife, my children, family, friends, ... Ad infinitum. While I was born into a family who had little more than a vague nebulous perception of God, He was the God of the Bible, our Savior Jesus Christ. The truth I sought for some thirty-nine years was none other than that I had grown up with, Christianity.

            Some of you may wonder how I reconcile my gender status with the Bible. This was a tough one for me up until the time I came to understand the miracle of Christ's gift to us... Most of the indictments that point in the general direction of the gender variant are from the Old Testament and must be considered in the context of the times in which they were written. Many draw out that old Deuteronomy verse about clothing and hair length... then they wag their fingers accusingly while conveniently ignoring all the other caveats of Moses... many of which would have us sitting on death row were we to take them literally.

             Put simply, what transgendered people have is a condition that needs correction... only those who do not truly know the Lord are deceived into believing that there is something immoral about seeking to be healthy. It's not up to me to educate anyone on these facts and that is not my purpose here... suffice to say I have done my homework and know that I am in the Lord. Those who still must seek the truth of these matters will find your answers in prayer to the most high God.